Nov 25 2008
A God given right or not?
So, thinking back to my last posting, I’ve thought a lot about a phrase that I was tempted to use over and over again in that post. The phrase was “It’s my God given right to bear children.” Well now, I avoided using that phrase because I know there are some people out there who would have contested that and said “If it’s your God given right, then why hasn’t God blessed you in that way?” And I’d have to sit here dumbfounded staring at the screen.
The truth is, our whole lives, in most cases, we as women are raised to be independent enough to survive on our own if we had to, but also dependent enough to let a man take care of us- while we do the same- in outher ways- for them. We are to be a helpmate to them. We are to be their support, their cheerleaders, their wonderful wives and…..we bear their children. So looking at it from the perspective of a woman, and looking at that side of infertility….what are we supposed to think when we are not able?
Something is wrong with us, we are insufficient in so many ways, and how can we expect a man to want to marry us (in some cases, stay with us) if we cannot bear their children? God created women and men with the intention of us “going forth and multiplying.” So, if we cannot do that, then what are we? Please note that I am not saying these things are true, but I am representing the feelings that I have felt during my battle, and I know others have too.
Having come as far as I have with the infertility battle, and not having given up on life itself, I still find myself wondering why there are teenage girls that are allowed to bear several children before leaving the teenage years behind…..why there are people who only ever scream at their children…..why them and not me? Oh, I know what the Bible says about questioning our creator….I do. But it doesn’t change my wonderings. I’m human. And I’m a woman that seems to have an overload of emotions. An overwhelming love contained so much so that I find it hard to love myself….because I feel so insufficient at times. I know that if God is going to deny me the one thing I’ve truly wanted for my entire life, then He will give me something greater and more wonderful thatn i can ever imagine. I know that I will be content with what He gives me and I will be happy to have whatever it is. I will be like Aunt Gail was. I will love others as though they were my own. Perhaps I will adopt….perhaps there is a child out there without a home, a family, a mommy….perhaps it will be that child that God intends for me to love. I don’t know…but He will make a way.
You have to wonder though….if we were created to go forth and multiply, then is it a God given right or not?
