Beckies Spot

Yesterday, as we all gathered to celebrate Thanksgiving, I was nervous to say the least.  As I stated in my last posting, there would be family members together that had not shared a holiday since the late 80’s.  There were people from age 8 up to 52….and you know, it was a interesting day.  As we each told of what we are thankful for, I recognized one common factor.  Each and every person there was thankful for our family.  You, as readers, don’t know the history of my family, but it’s complicated.  There have been fights, arguments, agreements to just disagree and hurts.  All going back as far as I can remember- and I’m told that they were there well before my memory begins.

It was a wonderful sight to see everyone standing around….thankful to be together, thankful for our jobs, our health, God’s mercy and….my mom’s thankfulness.  She said “While I am not thankful for what brought us all back together (Daddy’s passing), I am thankful that we are all here.  That we are a family.”  And you know, that touched me.  She went on to say that she was also thankful that we have a God who provides a way for us to be reunited with our loved ones who have passed on…through Salvation.  Truly, she spoke from the heart.

Following a huge feast, we played games, we laughed, we had our annual food fight, and we plotted for Christmas.  I went to take a nap then, as I had surgery just two days before, and the pain was getting to me.  When I woke up, the games resumed, and a handful of us played “Uno” until nearly midnight….and continued to laugh and plot for Christmas.  When all was said and done, Brent and I had both napped, and neither of us were ready for bed…so we decided to put up the Christmas tree.  This was probably hysterical to watch…..me not being able to bend or life, and him with his back out.  None the less, a few hours later, the Christmas tree was up, and most of the house was decorated.

Now, I did not plan on having a tree up this year.  I didn’t want to ‘look at the pretty lights’ and be in the Christmas spirit.  I was willing to celebrate it for what it is- Jesus’ birth….but other than that, I didn’t want the traditional garabge that would make me think of those that aren’t here.  It’s truly not that I don’t want to tink of Daddy and Aunt Gail at all….I do.  It’s just hard enough without there being constant reminders of their favorite holiday.  So Christmas is being held at my sister’s house this year, and her tree went up last week.  I figured I didn’t need to put one up, but my family had other ideas.  If I refused to acknowledge Christmas in the traditional sense, then they were also going to refuse and take down their trees.  Sound like I got blackballed?  Yeah, sounded like it to me too.

But as I am putting up the tree last night, I realized that it was something I needed to do.  This is the first year that Brent and I are living together- without any of my family.  Just us and James.  Putting up the tree allowed Brent and I some time together that was well spent.  Going through his ornaments from when he was a child, listening to his stories from growing up.  My ornaments coming out…quite the variety.  You see, when my Papa died in 2000, we started a new tradition that year.  We started buying ornaments for each other….or making them.  The point is, when you look at the ornament you have received from me, you will know it is from me.  So, as we were going through the ornaments last night, I was telling Brent where each of mine had come from….and it was something I needed to do.

Christmas will not be all bad this year…just very different.  Christmas has been about Daddy so much…buying him all these little trinkets that we knew he would love (Tools, flashlights, the every year must have creme drops), and this year, it will be so different.  We will recreate old traditions, and we will start new ones….but I will get into that in another post.

I hope each of you had as much to be thankful for this year as I did.  I hope that you got to share that…around the table.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS