Beckies Spot

With Christmas around the corner, and yes people- it’s coming….there’s a lot going on that bugs me.  It’s a hard year- chalk it up to that, right?  Tonight, I came home from working two jobs, and stopped over to my sister’s house….where I snuck a few coveted pieces of chocolate peanut butter fudge.  Savoring them in my mouth, I realized that it’s Christmas time.  I know, I know- it’s here, we can’t deny it, and yes, I have even acknowledged it……but I wasn’t loving it.  For a brief moment with that piece of fudge in my mouth- I was thankful for the season.  This is a special treat…wrapped up in a secret family recipe that is held tighter than the Busch’s Baked Beans one….thankful to have it melt in my mouth.  It’s a treat that comes once a year.

Awhile later, I am sitting with my family, eating birthday cake for one of my brothers…..and Heather starts playing a Christmas song from our old duet book on the piano.  I jumped at the chance to invite myself to play along with her….and while it sucked that I hadn’t read that music in a long, long while…..and I couldn’t play it well…..it was great to sit there and sing while we played.  Something we used to do for both Daddy and Aunt Gail.  At that point, I realized that yes, I do miss them both very much.  And no, Christmas will not be the same without them.  But yes, they still live on in my heart.  There is nothing that can reaplce them, nothing that can come close…..it was a one of a kind love…..aren’t all special relationships?  But my comfort comes from knowing where my eternity lies, and where they are at this very moment.

Forever more a part of me, forever in the heart of me.