Beckies Spot

So, the series of reasons why women cheat is over.  It was interesting to write the series.  I did actual research- some intentional and some accidentally.  I’m not talking about the kind of research where you actually step out. Oh no.  Not me.  But, on my myspace account, I listed my status as “Contemplating why women cheat but not contemplating doing it herself.”  Well, I had some interesting responses to this.

I received an email from someone I don’t even know but is on my account for gaming purposes only.  It went like this:
“Hey girl, I saw your status message, and I read your blog at today.com because you posted the link here.  When I read your blog and saw the status message, I though to myself ‘that girl is either cheating or really close to cheating!’  And I just have to say that from everything I’ve read here, I thought you had a boyfriend that you cared about.”

That was it.  So, I responded with:
“I do.  And I’m not a cheater.  I’m writing for today.com, therefore thinking about my topic.”

She responded with:
“Everyone cheats at one time or another.  For a variety of reasons.  We all get caught in those situations.  In the heat of the moment.”

So I thought for all of two seconds before I wrote back:
“I don’t allow myself to be put in situations where I may possibly contemplate thinking about cheating.  I don’t believe in intentionally setting yourself up for failure.”

And she sent back one whole line:
“Well you are better than me.”

Interesting right?  I’d like to say a couple of things about her emails.  First off, not everyone will cheat in their life time.  A lot of people will…to some degree anyway, but not everyone.  I for one have cheated.  And, it was cheating in retaliation.  He cheated on me and denied it- though I had pictures.  I was more hurt that he lied to me about it than the fact that he had done it.  So, I set the scene, took someone up on an offer that had been made long before he ever cheated and then let him catch me.  It was to hurt him, and yes, I was aware that the relationship was far beyond over.  Oh yes, there were tears- even in the very very end- just before I moved out.  I guess I kind of felt that if I let him catch me cheating on him, then when it was over- it was because I had chosen for it to be.  The truth was- he had the upper ahnd the whole way.

The second thing I want to say about her email is that there is only one way to avoid cheating at all costs.  You cannot put yourself in a position where it is even an option.  Really.  Be careful who you spend your time with.  My Dad used to tell me that you become who you hang around with.  In my experience I have found this to also be true.  If you hang out with people who have no problem cheating on their significant other, be aware of the fact that you may also fall into this trap.