Jan 12 2009
Making it mine?
I wrote last night about the excitement of making my kitchen over, and making it mine. And I am excited about it. But tonight, as I stood in the kitchen, looking at the walls, having finally decided on the shade of red……I was trying to picture it. And you know, my heart gave- just a little bit…..when I realized that I am, yet again, removing a little part of Daddy. He and mom lived here until he died. Then my brother and mom lived here for a bit- and now Brent, James and I are here. Nothing is the same really. Mom and I redid the bathroom shortly after Daddy died- that was her project that I helped with. The living room looks very different….the dining room doesn’t look at all like it did….the whole upstairs…..what’s really left is the kitchen. And now I’m doing that over too.
It was to be done because I wanted to really make it mine. But in doing that, I’m wiping away a lot. I remember when my mom painted that kitchen, and how Daddy loved the blue. It was obnoxiously bright to the rest of us- but since his vision was a little it less than perfect, it was just right for him. Ad I’m taking that away. I’m making it mine. I’ll find some way to tie it in.
But in all this, I took a moment to acknowledge that I miss him. A lot. Hard to believe that in 2 months and 3 weeks, it will be a year. It feels like this morning.
