Beckies Spot

I have a girlfriend who reads my blog, and she asked me to write about what to do in between boyfriends.  How to deal with a break up and how to move on in life.

I can only write what I know.  And the truth is, there has been very little time in my adult life where I haven’t been in a committed relationship.  I have been in a few long term relationships (two of three which turned into marriages).   I could sit here and type about how you could go with the old saying “To get over one guy, you have to get under another.”  But I am not a firm believer in that, and I would not solicit whoring ones self out just to feel better about a break up.  I could type about using the time to find out who you really are and what you are really looking for in life before trying to figure out what kind of guy you want to be with.  While I do support that, I’m not going to go into detail about it right now.

I’d like to take a different approach on it, and give you a little bit of humor.  Breakups usually aren’t easy, so you may be hurting over one- even if it was long ago.  I’m going to relate some things that men have done to my friends and I that have either helped us get over him quicker or has gotten us back together.

For one of my friends, she told her boyfriend that she was sick of him being a mooch- playing video games while she was at work, not doing anything to help around the house and things of that nature.  She told him they needed to take a break (the dating kind).  He left.  For  6 whole hours.  When he returned, he brought her a deep fryer.  That his mom had bought him for Christmas.  Saying he wanted his baby to have the best.  Now, she was so stunned at this that she said nothing.  He, however, took her silence as a form of acceptance, and was back.  While it was his attempt to bring the relationship back together, it is just a bit of comic relief for her now.  The relationship is over and he is with a girl he was cheating on my friend with.  Oh well yay.  She, however, kept the deep fryer and lves to look at it and think about what an idiot her boyfriend was.

I had my own personal experience where my partner wanted to break up, and I was not willing to do this.  You see, we were married….a marriage that he rushed because he didn’t want to ‘live in sin with me.”  So we got married months before we had planned on.  Two months after our marriage, he stood on the patio telling me he was gay.  I was his cover.  I do not believe in divorce, but if you know me, you know that statement is kind of ironic.  I did not want to let him go.  After a near suicide attempt, I became determined to make it work.  He, on the other hand, was determined to get out quick.  So, he brought his boyfriend home and let me catch him.  That did the trick.  Now, I know what the Bible says about revenge being the Lord’s, but I didn’t think God would mind if I got just a little.  So, months later, when he thought it was all over, I sent pictures of him and another man to his fire and brimstone parents.  Blurred out the other guy’s face and sent pictures that let the viewer with no doubts about what was going on.  His parents sent their near 30 year old son off to an anti gay retreat.  :)  The ironic part is that a few years later, his boy friend (the same that he was cheating on me with) left him.  For a woman from what I hear.

Then there was the friend that was living with her boyfriend and had been with him for over two years.  She announces one day that she if terrified of how serious things have gotten and she thinks she needs some time to think.  She tells him that she is going to live on campus for the next semester just to give them a little space…..they’ll still be together.  His argument?  “But who is going to cook for me and do my laundry?” Now honestly, I don’t know how she turned that argument down.  What, are you kidding me??????  Enough said on that one. (PS- she did not fall for it)

I guess the point of this is so that those of you who are going through break ups know that you are not alone.  I’m not about to go on a tyrant about how men are scum- that would be all together too easy at the moment.  But I will say that we all have at least on relationship in our lives where the breakup really hurts us more than it hurts them.  Our emotions are different and we see things in a different light.  It’s a woman thing.

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