Beckies Spot

So, my personal theme is “We don’t need no stinkin men.”  I say it over and over again, trying to convince myself of that.  I like to think I am independent.  The truth of the matter is, there are a few things I need one for.  What prompted this little confession?  Tonight, one of my girlfriends and I were out driving around, catching up.  We pull into this trailer park…because we were thinking we could possibly afford a home there.  That’s beside ther point.  We no sooner pull in and there is a horrific noise and then a repeated “thud” noise.  Okay, I know this noise…sounds like a flat tire.  Only, upon inspection of all four tires, nothing is flat.  Hmmm.  So she says “Watch.”  I say “Watch what?”  She says “I don’t know, just watch.”  Okay….she moves the car.  Three of her wheels move and the rear passenger wheel stays put.  Hm.  So we get on the ground and we’re looking around.  (Let me say that it’s 50 degrees outside and we had about 3 feet of snow this morning and it’s been melting all day…so we’re soaked already).  We can’t figure it out and it’s dark, and people are peering at us through the windows of their luxury homes.  So, I pick up my princess studded cell phone and call my little brother.  Who sends me to voicemail.  I call back….and he sends me to voicemail.  Great, at least I know I can count on him.  It was 12 am….like I was just calling to chat.  So then I call my friend Joel….who is 35 minutes away at the time but will head right home to help me out.  My girl and I try moving the car again, but the wheel still wouldn’t move!  In the mean time, I called my guy who came up with tools, a couple flashlights and a jacket for me.  Now, he got on the ground and looked around, we defneded our loitering to a very curious woman in a nightgown, leather jacket and cowboy boots.  Yes, cowboy boots.  So, my guy says “Why don’t you try moving it again?”  She does, we watch, the wheel is still stuck.  He says “Put it in reverse.”  She does, and after another thud, the thing stops being stupid and finally moves.  So, I’m going to ride home with her and he’s going to follow us.  You touch the gas to make it go, and when it gets to 10 mph, the things starts to seize up again….okay, we won’t do that.

That’s pretty much where it ended.  Now….he did not do anything that we didn’t do….yet the car friggin moved.  It’s a conspiracy in my opinion, but….apparently we needed him to be there.  The mere prescence of a man made the car move…of this I am convinced.

Something else that happened to me just today.  It reminds me that I am but a tiny little feminine being that can’t stand on her own two feet….or tippy toes rather.   The outside light on our porch was out today. “I can do this” is what I thought to myself.  I stand on the very tips of my toes and reach into the top of the shade thingy.  I am greeted with spider webs- to which I only slightly cringed.  I turned the bulb around and around while the corner of the shade thingy dug into my wrist, and tada!  The bulb came out!  I triumphantly and ceremoniously threw the old bulb aside and grabbed the new one.  Standing back on the tips of my toes, I turn and turn to get the new bulb in.  It won’t go any further, so I am done.  I flip the switch and…nothing.  “Maybe it’s broken” I say.  My guy then reaches up into the shade thingy and tada….it works.  Once again….the lightbulb is intimidated by the mere prescence of a man and decides to work.

Another thing I need a man for…..and yes, I realize just how pathetically feminine this makes me sound…..opening jars.  Yes, I have muscles.  And, in case they don’t feel like working, I have one of those jar-lid-gripper-things.  Guaranteed to work!  Only, it dsoesn’t.  Without my guy, I would not have banana peppers to munch on at 11:30 at night.

So you see…..while batteries can take care of most of what we would need from a man…….we do need one every now and again.